Facebook Blues

I “Deactivated” my Facebook today so that I wouldn’t be able to get back on until Finals were over and, knowing that I would completely forget that I deactivated my account, I thought that Facebook would REMIND me that my account was deactivated and that it would take me a few extra steps to get back on. I’d, therefore, convince myself that logging on to Facebook wasn’t worth the extra minute and then do something more productive.
That’s what I THOUGHT deactivating your Facebook meant, but it really just means that other people can’t see your profile. All you need to do to reactivate your Facebook is to… log in as usual.
God DAMMIT, Facebook. I don’t CARE if my friends can see my page or not! I deactivated the page to keep ME off!
I mean, should I just stay away from computers? That would be an option if, like, 99% of what I need to for college wasn’t on the internet.
Having so much of your coursework on the internet is really annoying, because the internet is a terrible vacuum of inactivity where distraction is just a click away. Making me do homework online and expecting me not to be distracted is like having a business meeting with a sex-addict at Hooter’s during “Hooter’s Cooters– Full Frontal Waitress Day!” and expecting the clit-craving businessman to stay focused on, like, plywood sales. Oh, he’ll be focused on wood…
Making me do homework online and expecting me GET IT DONE without delay is like taking your dog to the park, throwing a ball in one direction and throwing a screaming squirrel in the other, and telling the dog to fetch the ball, NOT the hilariously-flailing squirrel. And if the dog fetches the squirrel, you’ll fail the dog, and the dog won’t have a career, and the dog will find a way to hang himself with his own leash and collar.
Making me do homework online and expecting me not to dive into a world of procrastination is like putting a baby on the edge of a cliff and ordering it to sit still. And then being surprised when the baby plummets to its death after a manic dog chasing a squirrel accidentally knocks it into the abyss.
2000 more essay-words to go.

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